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My Story and How One Nerd Saved My Life

This is not a happy post, exactly, nor is it for those who don’t enjoy hearing about personal turmoil. This post will be getting into the nitty gritty of where I started before choosing to change my life, and it’s not a pleasant place to visit. But I’m hoping that maybe my own story can inspire others who find themselves facing what I was, or inspire others to avoid hitting that plane themselves. So, onward, into the TRUE Story of a Fat Girl, not to be mistaken with the surface level “A Fat Girl’s Story“.

When Depression Started

As “A Fat Girl’s Story” goes into, around the age of 14 I realized how different to the other girls in my grade I looked, and I was often picked on and bullied for it. I hated the staring and jeering and the mocking, so I asked my friend one day how she looked as skinny as she did. This 15 year old girl told me she was on a diet called “anorexia”. (I’ll get into a huge spiel on body image in young women later.) I asked her about it, and she told me, “you just don’t… you know, eat. Well, except a hard boiled egg at breakfast, about a cup of salad at lunch, and some toast for supper.” She then went on to tell me about bulimia, the practice of eating foods you really enjoy and just throwing them up. I was convinced I’d finally found the cure to me obesity. I put those practices into play immediately, sticking mostly with bulimic eating. I quickly learned my body hated what I was doing to it, but I was seeing amazing results at amazing speeds. Bulimia became my savior, and my obsession. Eventually, I started to hate myself for doing it as I realized it wasn’t healthy. Soon it became my enemy, too, one that I couldn’t give up. I was finally beginning to be as thin as the other girls. Thus began my depression and my obsession. I hated the person I became for doing it, but I loved the way it made me look.

A Losing Battle

Soon, my new-found “sex-appeal” landed me what I’d desired most: a boy. I had finally found some sort of light in the dark. He was a pretty cute boy in the class above me, and he asked me out one night. I was ecstatic. We dated for about a week when I realized I was beautiful to him, and I was already skinny, I didn’t need to keep doing that to my body. So I stopped the throwing up, but I didn’t stop the eating. In a few weeks, I’d packed on a bit of weight again, and he noticed.

One night, he asked if we could talk. He wanted to break up.

“You’re just… too big for my tastes, y’know?”

And that was when my depression sky-rocketed. I didn’t pick my bad eating habits back up again, though. Instead, I turned to eating as my emotional outlet. I was quickly overweight again and the mocking kicked back in.

I finally hit the point where I thought

enough was enough.

I wrote my suicide note up. I was going to take pills, with my mother’s health issues we had plenty in the house. I couldn’t imagine the pain of slitting my wrists, so that seemed easiest. My note was simple. I don’t remember that much of it, but I do have it still. I’ve never been able to convince myself to throw it out. One night, when my family had gone out, I got myself settled on my bed with the note ready and took the first pill. As I felt it burrow in the pit of my stomach, something in me just clicked. It wasn’t this sudden understanding of the meaning of Earth, and I wasn’t happy after (still quite depressed), but I chose not to go through with the attempt. Nobody found out about it, and I continued to gain weight and feel miserable and depressed.

Fighting the Battle Again

I attempted to lose weight another time, as the age of sixteen came near. This time, I did it a touch healthier, I cut out some of my eating, but not to an extreme or unhealthy level. That one really didn’t get far at all…

So now we’re onto this third attempt.

How One Nerd Saved My Life

The depression was awful. My depression this past year was at an all-time high. I attempted to commit suicide one other time, but an online friend of mine had kept me on a call the entire night until the desire faded. The desire never actually left, though. Every waking moment that I felt my shirt rubbing my belly I was reminded that escape was so close. That same friend told me about how exercising would help with my body image and depression.

I began to Google the key ways to getting fit, alongside inspiration. Eventually, I found a post by NerdFitness. The things in the post struck…some chord inside me. I also quite enjoyed the concept of the blog, so I began to explore. Everything in that blog just… connected with me and inspired me.I began to apply the various practices preached there, I bought an Academy account, and began to work on myself. Thus bringing me to this post. I now post my thoughts and recipes, I’m so much happier, I’ve begun to see physical changes in my body, as well as so much more optimism in my day-to-day life. The previous depressed thoughts haven’t resurfaced so far, and for once, I’m excited for the future and every single minute I’m alive.

Thanks Steve Kamb,

Love, 

A Fat Girl

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Inspiration, Working Out, And An Introduction That Should’ve Come Long Ago

This will be quite the lengthy post, my first “real” post, so to speak. For once, no recipe attached! So, grab some popcorn and let’s get started.

Introduction

Hello, I’m A Fat Girl. Welcome to my blog. I’ve already posted a few recipes on here, so I know it’s a little strange that I’m just NOW introducing myself and the blog, but I’ve been busy and I’m not busy right now! This blog will focus on three primary things: nutrition, fitness, and me. God, I am self-centered, but this is mostly meant to be a diary of my weight loss journey. I’ll track recipes I find interesting and want to try, or recipes I’ve created myself. I’ll be posting a variety of workouts, some advanced, some beginner, some downright weird. I’ll post my random musings, as well as progress throughout my journey. So, I hope you’ll find some of these silly things I post of use!

Working Out

Paaaain. So. Much. Pain. Going from being someone who hadn’t done a single push up in over six years to someone forced to do thirty of them, along with other things, is awful. It’s been such a long time since I’ve hurt THAT badly over something. The past two days I could barely sit or stand, my thighs would just hurt so bad. Today will begin my next workout, and – even though the last one sent me into days of agony – I’m excited. There’s something so… Empowering about pushing your body past the points it’s supposed to go and reaping the benefits of it. I loved feeling that pain in muscles I’d forgotten I had each  time they were flexed. It was… exhilarating. But I won’t lie, after that pain, attempting to get the motivation to do it again was hard. Which is why I sought out about as much inspiration as I could find, and I decided to share:

Inspiration

(This will be updated very frequently, so bookmarking it may not be a bad idea.)

I think a lot of us find that at some point, the journey just doesn’t seem quite worth it anymore. Well I’m here to tell you you’re wrong, and…

…any journey worth starting is worth finishing.

But I get that sometimes, we need that little inspirational boost. Everyone needs it now and then. I definitely needed it today. My boyfriend, who I was trusting to love and support me through my transformation, dumped me last night, my legs are aching with every movement from a workout two days ago, and the scale has barely budged the past two days. This morning, I really felt like I’d already lost my battle. Then, I came across a lovely post from NerdFitness, all about inspiration. It inspired me to do the same thing, and make a huge post with every inspirational thing I can find on the internet for you. So, let’s get started!

Inspirational Video Clips

Be Phenomenal (Must Watch!)

I Still Have A Soul (Another Must Watch!)

Hero

Unstoppable

How Bad Do You Want It? (Success)

Inspirational Images

Inspirational Songs

Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

“Don’t Stop Believing” – Journey

“Skyscraper” – Demi Lovato

“It’s My Life” – Bon Jovi

“Tubthumping” – Chumbawumba

“Not Afraid” – Eminem

“Harder, Better, Faster” – Daft Punk

“I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor

“The Climb” – Miley Cyrus

“Eye of the Tiger” – Survivor

“Lose Yourself” – Eminem

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Breakfast Boost Smoothie

Some days you just don’t have that much time to make a nutritional, energy-packed breakfast; I definitely understand what it’s like between school and work. So, this morning I threw this quick smoothie together and am sipping it now for a delicious and healthy breakfast. Also a nice post-workout snack!

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Breakfast Boost Smoothie

How Healthy Is It?

  • Servings: 2
  • Serving Size: Half the final
  • Calories: 260.5
  • Sugar: 41 g
  • Carbs: 46.18 g
  • Protein: 9.6 g

What You’ll Need:

  • (Just remember, this recipe is super versatile, add more of what you like and skip what you don’t!)
  • 2 cups frozen (or fresh) whole strawberries
  • 2 medium bananas
  • 1 orange, peeled
  • 1 cup plain, nonfat yogurt
  • 1/2 cup almond milk (if it’s too thick without it)
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • Around 3 ice cubes

How To Make It:

  • Chop up all the fruit so they’ll fit in the blender and blend faster
  • Add the fruit in to the blender
  • Add the yogurt
  • Add the tbsp honey
  • Add the ice cubes
  • Blend until smooth
  • If it’s too thick, add some milk (I use almond milk) and blend again
  • Enjoy!

This smoothie most definitely starts my day off right, and I hope it does yours, too!

Love, 

A Fat Girl

 

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Another Success Towards Paleo and a Delicious Pasta Recipe: Spaghetti Squash Spaghetti

(Sadly, I was so excited to share this meal with my family that I forgot to take a picture, so a quick Google search revealed a similar image from Simply Daily Recipes.)

As I’ve mentioned briefly, I’m slowly attempting to transition to a Paleo diet. The hardest part for me is definitely cutting out grains. My favorite meal of all time is spaghetti, and the idea of missing out on it for Paleo scared me to death, so I searched noodle alternatives. I found quite a few people that recommended spaghetti squash, so, I finally braved it and made some myself. It was delicious. So, below I’ll give you the recipe for my spaghetti squash spaghetti and my super fast and easy sauce.

spaghetti-squash-with-tomato-sauce

Spaghetti Squash With Homemade Spaghetti Sauce

How Healthy Is It?

Ugh, I’m too new to this recipe to start getting all uppity about portion sizes and servings. So, for the entire dish, it will be  basically this many calories. All you’re getting is calories today, folks, sorry. Again, my estimate is VERY vague!

  • Calories-ish for the squash: 42
  • Calories-ish for the sauce: 250

What You’ll Need:

  • 1 medium spaghetti squash. (This makes a lot, you could only use half, depending on how many you want to serve.)
  • 1 can of Hunt’s Tomato Paste (I had no actual tomatoes, tomato sauce, or tomato puree on hand, but I DID have this paste. Feel free to use a different sauce, but this worked for me on a pinch.)
  • Seasonings. I used Rosemary, Basil, Garlic and Onion Powder, Salt, Pepper, and some general “Italian Seasoning”
  • 1lb Ground Beef (optional)
  • Some grated parmesan (optional)

How to Make It:

  • Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.
  • First you’ll want to cut your squash in half, from the stem to the tip, so the pieces are thinner and longer. This is HARD. The skin is really tough, so be careful. If you can’t get it cut, leave it as is. I’ll visit cooking instructions for that a little later.
  • Scoop out the rind and seeds like any pumpkin you used to as a kid. Make sure you try to avoid scooping at the flesh, that’s the part you want.
  • Lay them cut side down in a baking pan and pour in just enough water to cover the bottom.
  • Set them in the oven for 30-45 minutes. They’re done when you can easily poke the shell with a fork and have it go smoothly down to the flesh.
  • Pro Tip: If you don’t want to cut them, just set it in the baking pan for around an hour. You test it the same way, poking it with a fork. 
  • While your squash is baking, get a pan on the stove. If you want to use ground beef, start cooking that, getting it into fine pieces for a meat sauce.
  • Once your beef is finished and drained and re-entered into the pan, or if you aren’t working with any, dump the tomato paste in. You only need around two cups for the serving of squash you’ll get, or more if you like more saucy pasta. Most people make their paste with more water than paste, but I actually just dumped two cups of water in also.
  • Add in your seasonings, to suit your tastes. I added a bit of everything mentioned above, and then made sure I had a very decent amount of basil in their for a nice flavor. I also love pepper, so my sauce had quite a lot of pepper.
  • Let it simmer around twenty minutes covered. Longer the thicker you want your sauce.
  • Test the squash and when it’s done, use a fork to rake out the “noodles”.
  • Dump your sauce right over.
  • Add some grated Parmesan to the top (optional), and enjoy.

Sorry for the vague-ness of this recipe, but that’s why I love it. Using the two primary ingredients, you can really take this meal in any direction you want to. Prepare the squash to your preferred tenderness, prepare the sauce however you’d like to make it. Try to have some fun with it!

Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed mine.

Love, 

A Fat Girl

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Looking for a Yummy Post-Workout Shake? Try This Sweet Banana Shake

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Banana Smoothie

How Healthy Is It?

Now, seeing as this was entirely home created, and I suck at nutrition info, this is a VERY vague nutritional guide going by its components.

  • Servings: 2
  • Serving Size: Half the final creation
  • Calories: 186
  • Fat: 1.55 g
  • Potassium: .531 g
  • Proteins: 2.15 g

What You’ll Need:

  • 2 bananas, more ripe the better.
  • One orange
  • 1 tbsp honey (optional, for more sweetness)
  • A pinch of cinnamon (optional)
  • 1 cup milk, I use Silk’s Unsweetened Pure Almond Milk
  • Either 1/3 cup of crushed ice, or a few large ice cubes.

How to Make It:

  • Cut or rip up both bananas and drop them in the blender.
  • Squeeze as much juice out of the orange as you can.
  • Add the honey
  • Add as much or as little cinnamon as you’d like.
  • Add in the cup of milk.
  • Add in the ice.
  • Blend until it’s smooth.

 

Hope you enjoy this delicious, protein-packed smoothie. Feel free to share any of your own post-workout recipes below!

Love, 

A Fat Girl

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Lemon Chia Seed Protein Bars That Are Perfect After Any Workout

Marketing agents and specialists are great at convincing their consumers to eat their processed protein bars that are “riddled with healthy ingredients”. Yet, any smart individual with the common sense enough to check out the ingredients will see just how unhealthy these really are. Only half the ingredients are natural, if you’re lucky – which is why I’ve been scouring the web for some yummy, healthy recipes! Here’s one of the more distinct recipes I’ve found, no more butter and nuts with this one.

Lemon Chia Seed Protein Bars

This recipe is brought to you by Muscle for Life. Check it out! http://www.muscleforlife.com/healthy-protein-bar-recipes/

Just How Healthy Are They?

  • Servings: 8
  • Serving Size: One Bar
  • Calories: 125
  • Protein: 17 g
  • Carbs: 11 g
  • Fat: 2 g

What You’ll Need:

  • 3/4 Cup Oat Flour
  • 4 Scoops Vanilla Whey Protein
  • 1/4 Teaspoon Salt
  • 1/2 Teaspoon Baking Powder
  • 2 Quarts Lemon Drink Mix (Preferably True Lemon)
  • 3 Egg Whites
  • 1/4 Cup Stevia Powder
  • 8 oz Unsweetened Applesauce
  • 4 oz Water
  • 1/4 Cup Chia Seeds

So, How Do I Make Them?

  • Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
  • Grease an 8×8 pan, preferably using something like coconut oil.
  • In a large bowl, whisk together oat flour, protein powder, salt, and baking powder and set aside.
  • In a small bowl, beat egg whites, stevia, applesauce, lemonade mix, and water until well combined.
  • Combine the wet and dry mixtures until smooth, then add the chia seeds and stir them in.
  • Pour the batter into prepared cake pan.
  • Bake for 22-23 minutes. After they’ve cooled, cut into 16 squares or 8 large bars.